I woke up this morning at 3 am. It’s not unusual for me as I very rarely get a full night’s sleep. My hamster wheel just kept on turning. But last night my thoughts kept me up for a while (an hour and a half before spending much time in prayer, my head finally allowed me to fall back asleep).
So what was I thinking about? The crazy coincidence of the timing of my journey. Or is it really God’s timing?
Tomorrow is the day where I would normally be going back for teacher workshop. It’s where teachers set up for their school year. We make the environment suitable for our students to grow in a number of ways. We make sure it’s safe, inviting, friendly, for the next 9 months. This year, I’m not able to go back to my classroom, the room where I would get ready for my preschoolers, because I had to quit my job in order to get another type of room ready for the next 9 months!
As I was thinking through this at 3 am, I have to admit I grew sad for a little bit. I received a text yesterday from a parent of a preschooler I would have had this school year. She knew the journey I was embarking on, and was excited to watch my “room” grow and become a safe environment for a baby to grow! She was excited that her kiddo got to be in my class! But she found out I was not going to be her kiddo’s teacher after all. She was confused and sad, but wished me well. And I was sad that I wasn’t going to be getting my classroom ready starting tomorrow.
But then my thoughts immediately shifted. How coincidental is it that, starting tomorrow, I will be getting another room ready for the next 9 months for another child to grow! As the hamster wheel kept on spinning, I realized that, it’s not a coincidence that tomorrow I am going to start preparing my body for a baby to grow. It’s God’s timing!! He is in total control of my journey. Did He know that I was going to be saddened by not teaching my preschoolers about His love and grace and mercy? Did God know that my heart would miss making a difference in the lives of these beautiful kids AND their parents? And instead, on the same day I would normally be getting my classroom ready, that I could instead get my womb ready??!!
It was right then, after asking God to give me peace that transcends ALL understanding, that I knew it was well with my soul!!
So tomorrow morning I start my injections and I can truly say it is well with my soul!