Brandi’s Journey to Surrogacy

I’m sure this is going to sound a bit far-fetched, but it’s truly the start of my surrogacy journey.

In January 1998 (I was a senior in high school), the season 4, 12th episode of “Friends” aired.  This is the episode where Phoebe decides to carry triplets for her brother and his wife.  (“The episode received critical acclaim, is generally considered one of the best of the entire series, and is a favorite amongst the cast members and producers.” Wikipedia)  I thought that maybe someday I would do that.  Of course at 18 that was crazy!

Fast forward several years later and I get pregnant with our first without trying.  Then on his 1st birthday we get pregnant with our 2nd.  Meanwhile my good friend from high school AND my college roommate are struggling with getting and/or staying pregnant.  My heart hurt for them.  As much as I felt blessed, in my heart it wasn’t fair. I wanted to help them, so I privately offered to both of them that I would carry for them if they wanted.  Fortunately for each of them they were able to use IVF to conceive and add to their family!!  My high school friend has 2 boys and my college roommate has 2 girls!!  God is good!

So on went our journey of adding 2 more bambinos to our family!  After our 4th we decided our family was complete.  We had 4 healthy babies (and adding any more would have undoubtedly broke our bank) and our hearts were full!

Less than a year later in January 2011, I ran across a blog written by a friend I went to church with.  They were struggling with infertility.  After praying, I decided to offer to help.  So I messaged her and was met with open arms.  But God had other plans once again!  They now have 3 babies of their own through IVF!!

Fast forward a few years later.   A college classmate, also my sister-in-law’s sister, was experiencing heartbreak after heartbreak due to not being able to add to their family.  And their journey was 10 years deep.  God, once again, put surrogacy back on my heart.  We talked in depth and our journey began!  But God once again had other plans.  I had just started teaching at a Catholic school, and after talking with my principal I found out I would have to quit if I chose to follow this path.  After some serious time in prayer I felt God was saying it was not my time yet again.  (On a side note my oldest was adamant that he didn’t want me to start this journey.  When I asked him why, he could give no answer, just that he didn’t want me doing it.)

At this point I was beginning to question if this whole surrogacy journey was in MY head and heart; maybe not what God had planned for me.  So I let it go…until once again, in the summer of 2016, God put this journey back in my heart. And this time it was stronger and more real than it had ever been!  So I prayed.  I talked to my husband and asked him to consider supporting me on this journey…knowing I would have to quit my job.  It took some time but September 2016 Bryan said “Yes!”

After the kids and I met Tory and Teagan for the first time in March 2017 at the MN Zoo, and then both of our families meeting at their house a few weeks later, our whole family was on board.  I even had a chat with Riley to make sure he was on board this time, after being so against it before.  His response was one I will NEVER forget.  He said, “Mom, you weren’t supposed to carry for Jodi because God wanted Kelly (my sister-in-law, Jodi’s sister) to carry for her sister.  Now I’m excited for you to help Tory.”  (Cue tears once again…this coming from my teenage boy!)

See my sister-in-law’s story here.

So here we are…ready for this journey to bring a little bambino into the Daudelin family!!  This is a journey that started so many years ago, but by being patient, is one that is truly meant to be!

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