Our Bun, Brandi's Oven

So if you have been following along with our blog you will know Tory has gifted me with the nickname of Unicorn. And I love it!  The last time my hubby and I had a reason to celebrate I didn’t have any unicorn memorabilia.  Well that changed this week!!

Tory sent me a sweet shirt, a mug that says, “Be the unicorn you wish to see in the world.”, and these awesome unicorn headbands!  (Just wait, there’s more to come!). So Madi took a picture on Monday of the magical unicorn!  And trust me when I say I will use the mug and wear the shirt often!

But those headbands…oh, she sent more than just the one…!  She sent enough for my whole Unicorn Squad! The problem this week, though, has been getting all 6 of us in the same place at the same time!  So, without further ado, I present my Unicorn Squad!

So this is taken at our church after VBS and before one of them was heading out with a friend.  So we had to take it here.  Our oldest was SO embarrassed because one of his friends took the picture.  My Little Man was just being silly.  And of course, having to turn their heads sideways so you see they were unicorns just makes for an awkward picture.   LOL.  But they were good sports for me!

So back to the title of this blog….  You see, throughout this whole journey so far the people you see in the “Unicorn Squad” picture have been so supportive!  They are just as much a part of this journey as I am.  So the real name for a group of unicorns…

A Blessing!

Here is Tory’s & Travis’ unicorn squad, aka a blessing.

Unicorn here!

So I got home from a 31 party to this wonderful package in the mail!  I was told it wasn’t going to come until late next week, so I was very pleasantly surprised when it showed up TODAY, and on a Saturday!

What is it, you wonder…well it’s my “frozen embryo transfer cycle” dates!  So this is information I went over with Jill, our coordinator at CRM, back on July 12.  And when I saw the information that you are about to see in the picture below, I was nervous!  You see, I am kind of a perfectionist.  And if I miss any of what you are seeing, it could change things dramatically (at least that’s what I’m telling myself).

So now I see the exact dates and all. the. meds that I GET to take/inject over the next 3 months! Yep, you saw that right- injections for 3 months!  And did I mention that there’s a calendar with exact dates and times to take these 3-4 different meds?  And some I have to take 3 times a day!  See evidence below!

Oh yeah…and it’s highlighted just to make sure I know to pay special attention to those things and days!  Cue nerves of fearing I will mess up!  This isn’t just a test I may fail…this is a human we’re talking about!

So I begin my first injections on August 28.  4 weeks from this coming Monday!  Do you know how fast 4 weeks go?  Back up 4 weeks…it was a week before America’s birthday! And the 4th of July seems like a long time ago! So fast forward 4 weeks and I’ll be inserting a needle into my belly. (Don’t worry…I’ll be posting about that, too!)

As you look at this and try to understand this schedule, understand that, YES, I am willing to do this in order to bring a precious baby into the loving arms of Travis, Tory & Teagan!!  It will be a delivery far more exciting than the mail delivered to me today!  So wish me luck…I may need it!

If you saw Brandi’s post yesterday Brandi and Bryan signed the 38 page Gestational Carrier contract in front of a notary making it official on their end. We were the slow pokes in signing, as of course this week I have been down for the count with the stomach flu!

But in the surro world there are deadlines, so the show must go on! In order to get Brandi’s medication and protocol ready in time for our emrbyo transfer date September 27  –  the IVF clinic needs to know we are legally in contract before they can begin. And that deadline was today.

So after downing my good friend Pepto Bismol  (sorry TMI I know!) we made it to our local bank and signed with a notary making it official on our end too! WE ARE IN CONTRACT WITH A REAL LIVE UNICORN! (And Brandi unicorn goodies are in the mail  – you need to graduate from mule!!!)

Our baby is literally being given life in this envelope and we could not trust a better person with the second love of our life. #unicornsAREreal #teamT4

 

 

Brandi here!

So today was a BIG day!  We got the contract finalized, signed, notarized and mailed off to our attorney!!  It truly just makes it seem one step closer to being so REAL!

Throughout this process it’s been “hurry up and wait” situations.   And here it is again….lol.  We now wait for Tory and Travis to sign (tomorrow) and it’s…you guessed it…wait some more! Lol.  This time the waiting will be on my mind a lot more.  Because at the end of this waiting comes injections, meds and hormonal roller coasters.  (Maybe I shouldn’t LOL at the end of this one….my poor hubby and kiddos.)  But this, too, will be SO worth the wait.  Because in exactly 2 months from TODAY I will be doing something I have waited a long time to do and help others out in a way I can’t even fathom!

So I’m known as the Unicorn to Tory. (I love it by the way!)  And tonight I wanted to celebrate that we are one step closer.  Being I don’t like Starbucks (for their unicorn drink) and don’t have a unicorn-labeled beer, my hubby made me the next best thing….

(No I don’t want to be referred to as a mule….but what is a girl to do?)

So to this amazing journey, I say “Cheers!” to all that is to come!

Tory, Travis & Teagan, I’m yours!

Well for a lot of reasons, actually. Because in our culture we talk about having kids one day like its a given. We talk about child rearing years as a happy time in our lives (and it is for many but not for all). We are not prepared to enter the war zone that sometimes is getting the families we dreamed of. We are not prepared for the grief that is an inherent risk when and if it comes. We are completely unprepared if it doesn’t go right because no one talks about it.

There is grief in the baby that never comes or came but only for a few short weeks/months. There is grief in the vision and the timeline that will no longer be. In the plans that will never happen. In the child who wont get to have a sibling. Grief trumps all other emotions.

And infertility – well it is literally ALL grief.

When someone passes away we grieve together. Funerals are for the living not the deceased. They help us heal. They remind us we are not isolated in our feelings. That we are not alone.

So why on earth did it become a thing that we can’t talk about miscarriages/loss/infertility  – grief when we are trying to bring life into this world? I am not okay with the stigma. People should feel embraced and safe and surrounded by love in those dark chapters of life.

I want to try to take my negative experience and turn it around and use it for good. I want to help break the stigma, even if its one little blog. And I am lucky enough that Brandi does too.

So for those reasons….

Follow our journey in real time – before a pregnancy announcement. Ride the highs with us. Hunker down with us for the lows. I can’t promise a happy ending. It will be real. It will be raw. It will be real life. But I can promise you it will be a story of love. Of perseverance. Of a village of people trying to bring Baby Daudelin #2 in the world. And IF that baby does come into the world – you got to be here for the whole thing. ❤

 

 

 

If you are reading this, I am freaking out and over the moon.  Brandi and her hubby Bryan had to go through a pretty grueling medical evaluation 2 weeks ago through our IVF clinic. It involved injecting saline into Brandi’s uterus checking for polyps, cysts, and fibroid’s. It was a very painful procedure for Brandi – she is an absolute trooper. Although we found out on the spot that indeed Brandi’s uterus passed (YAY!) there was still the wait to know the blood and urine test results….

The FDA looks at surrogacy like an organ transplant. Since you are in fact putting tissue into a third party they need to check for disease/STDs. And our IVF clinic also has a laundry list of items that need to be in normal range for them to continue. The most common hiccups being a thyroid or vitamin D deficiency in the surrogate. If these areas are not in the normal range your embryo transfer date can be pushed MONTHS.

Well I woke up to the news this morning that both Bryan and Brandi passed all blood and urine results and we should finalize our legal contracts!

Excuse me while I do a happy dance around my coffee table….;)