Our New Normal

SO I thought this blog was over. My last post I wrapped it up – at least on my end of things now that baby is here. Tommy was born on June 12th. We got our happy ending and what an ending it was. T4 happened. Our miracle somehow happened. Our unicorn made our dream come true.

BUT…

Apparently I was totally off base. I have been receiving a lot of comments of people not too happy with me (in the nicest way possible) for ending the story just when Tommy got here. As they have put it people are invested in this love story. One comment said this was the greatest love story I have ever been apart of. Another said I am so sad this is over. It was good in my feed when right now there is so much bad. And yet another was from a mom wondering what its like after the baby is here as an intending mother.

SO…

I have been trying to find an hour to write an update. An hour is basically unheard of with two kids 3 and under, so bare with me as posts will be a little bit more spread out. But I will try to do posts every couple months!

I have so much to say. Where to start?

So what is our new normal?

Well Travis took 6 weeks off  for paternity leave and it was glorious!!! We really got to establish our family as T4.  We alternated nights so someone was well rested for Teagan. We had so many fun adventures like the pool, a deer petting zoo, and even a trip to a cabin for a family reunion!

He just went back this week and oh my gosh do we miss daddy! It was a wonderful and I am so grateful. Tommy is basically a Travis mini me in looks and personality. They are the best father son duo! Just like daddy Tommy is a chill little boy who is quiet and loves his sleep, ha! Just in time for daddy to go back to work Tommy slept through the night for the first time. How considerate is he??

Tommy sleeps from 10 – 6. You feed him and he is back down until 9:30. Then you feed him again and he is down until 11 ish. Then he sleeps again until 4. At which point he really “wakes up for the day” and cluster feeds until 10pm. We see Brandi and family about once a week to visit and pick up the milk Brandi is pumping for him. When we can we try to have the meet ups somewhere were the kids can get together like the park! I love having another person to share all his milestones with and send pics all the time to Brandi.

I have been getting A LOT of questions now that I am walking around with a baby! Here are the top 3 questions I get!

The number one question I get is, “Can you believe he is here?”

Now, yes. But it took a while to fully let in.

I still tear up and get emotional.  I am not sure I will ever NOT be when it comes to Tommy.  I am coming to realize that I had a lot of walls up to survive this process. How could you not? SO many times I thought we might loose him. That we might not get him here at all. That I needed to come to terms with having one child. And because of that – he doesn’t seem real sometimes even still. Although the walls are coming down and it feels like the biggest weight has been lifted off my chest and shoulders. Like for the first time in nearly 1.5 years I can take a deep breath again.

The cashier at Target ran around and hugged me and started crying when she saw me come into her line today with a baby carrier. She had seen me buy all of his clothes and knew the whole story. She was in shock – she couldn’t believe it was him. She stopped and just soaked him in – you could see it in her eyes. Like she was seeing a miracle – and she was. She turned off her light in her aisle and we held hands and hugged for a good couple minutes tearing up in the middle of target together. This journey brings you together with people. People that you don’t even really know. People love, love. And Tommy and his story – it is the greatest love story I have ever been apart of in my lifetime too.  

The second question I get most often is,  “How is Teagan handling it?”

I have never been more proud of my daughter. Seeing her love for her brother is the other piece to this love story. This morning she said mom I will feed him his bottle. You make me eggs and I will feed him his bottle. Every morning she parks herself next to brother and gives him a paci or his bottle. I don’t ask her to do this. She just does. She swoons over him and “pets” him and just recites, “Tommy. tommy, tommy, Thomas the Tank…” On days when she sees me stressed trying to juggle it all (he is the easy one, she is more clingy these days) she gives me hugs and tries to feed me haha. She is taking care of mom and brother. She waited half her little life for the title of Big Sister and she is rocking it.

The third question I get the most is, “Can you believe this became your story? That surrogacy would be so fundamental to your life?”

No. Not in a million years did I think surrogacy or this would be in my life story. This blog reached 88 countries. What a crazy ride seemingly out of nowhere. But I have to say being on the other side of it – I am just so honored to be apart of this surrogacy community. Like goosebumps as I type that kind of honored. No one asks for infertility. No one asks for this and you question why you a million times. But looking back – wow. It enriched my life in the biggest ways.

I am still part of the surrogacy facebook groups. Every day I see people pouring their heart and soul into posts trying to find a surrogate or vice versa – a surrogate trying to find a family. The people on these sites have TRAGIC stories – I mean gut wrenching things have happened to them and not only are they sharing their story with the world in hopes to find a surrogate but even after all their pain they are still trying and determined, and HOPEFUL. And then you see in real time as a woman comments that she may be a good match. And then a couple months later you see this couple post that they are pregnant! My feed is full of miracle after miracle happening in real time. And I get to be a fly on the wall for all of it!? Its an honor. Lifetime could not come up with better love stories.

The other day a same sex couple uploaded a video of their 10 year anniversary party. At the party they let everyone know they were expecting. It was a surprise to everyone in the room. And then they had the surrogate come on stage and they did the gender reveal! But then in a awesome crazy twist they say, we have one more surprise. And they bring another pregnant lady on stage. Their other surrogate!! They were essentially having twins – 2 boys 8 weeks apart. I remember months ago reading their story. Their first surrogate had not panned out and they were looking for a match –  they got their happy ending x2!

Tommy and Brandi have enriched my life beyond anything I could have ever dreamed. I have learned so much from Brandi. And Tommy you have already done so much with your short little life. I am so proud to be your mama. Not to mention you give the best little snuggles ever.

My favorite love story – signing off as T4 with our first ever family pic!

I will be back as time allows – if you have anything you are curious about or would like me to share please comment!