Well for a lot of reasons, actually. Because in our culture we talk about having kids one day like its a given. We talk about child rearing years as a happy time in our lives (and it is for many but not for all). We are not prepared to enter the war zone that sometimes is getting the families we dreamed of. We are not prepared for the grief that is an inherent risk when and if it comes. We are completely unprepared if it doesn’t go right because no one talks about it.
There is grief in the baby that never comes or came but only for a few short weeks/months. There is grief in the vision and the timeline that will no longer be. In the plans that will never happen. In the child who wont get to have a sibling. Grief trumps all other emotions.
And infertility – well it is literally ALL grief.
When someone passes away we grieve together. Funerals are for the living not the deceased. They help us heal. They remind us we are not isolated in our feelings. That we are not alone.
So why on earth did it become a thing that we can’t talk about miscarriages/loss/infertility – grief when we are trying to bring life into this world? I am not okay with the stigma. People should feel embraced and safe and surrounded by love in those dark chapters of life.
I want to try to take my negative experience and turn it around and use it for good. I want to help break the stigma, even if its one little blog. And I am lucky enough that Brandi does too.
So for those reasons….
Follow our journey in real time – before a pregnancy announcement. Ride the highs with us. Hunker down with us for the lows. I can’t promise a happy ending. It will be real. It will be raw. It will be real life. But I can promise you it will be a story of love. Of perseverance. Of a village of people trying to bring Baby Daudelin #2 in the world. And IF that baby does come into the world – you got to be here for the whole thing. ❤
One thought on “Why are we sharing this blog BEFORE we have a pregnancy announcement?”
This is beautiful, Tor!